Messing Up Pickup Lines
by kaitouahiru
Summary: Dean keeps messing up his pickup lines unless he's around Castiel. When he tries them on Castiel, Castiel messes them up with his answers.


Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, pickup lines, zingers, or Twinkies.

Thanks to my friend for making me explain the difference between zingers and Twinkies for giving me the gag reel idea and to my cousin for being hot enough for an idiot to mess up a pickup line in her presence!

* * *

><p>"Something's not right!" Dean groaned, slamming the motel room door behind himself. "I swear something supernatural's involved!"<p>

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, frowning at his brother.

"I messed up!" Dean said.

"Messed up what?" Sam asked.

"Picking up a chick!" Dean said.

"Uh, okay?" Sam asked.

"I never mess up! She was all over me too! Until that stupid…!" Dean groaned. "God!"

"Stupid what?" Sam asked.

"Pickup line," Dean said.

"What pickup line?" Sam asked.

"My love for you is like the sun. It never goes down," Dean said.

"The sun goes down every day," Sam said.

"Exactly," Dean said.

"Why'd you get it wrong then?" Sam asked.

"Dunno," Dean muttered.

"Do you know what the pickup line is?" Sam rolled his eyes.

"Yeah it's… uh…" Dean looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember as the telltale ruffle of feathers that gave Castiel away was heard.

"Hello-" Castiel said.

"My love for you is like my need for air. I can't live without you," Dean said.

"Er, that's very… kind of you Dean," Castiel said. Dean looked at the angel with his jaw dropped and Sam burst out laughing.

* * *

><p>"I did it again!" Dean groaned.<p>

"Did what again?" Sam asked, not looking up from his laptop.

"I messed up another pickup line!" Dean groaned. Sam raised an eyebrow and looked up from his computer.

"It happens sometimes. It's two messed up pickup lines. It's not the end of the world… anymore," Sam winced.

"Yeah, well… _I_ don't mess up pickup lines!" Dean said.

"What line did you mess up this time?" Sam asked.

"I know I don't have a chance, but I just wanted to hear you talk," Dean said.

"How'd you mess that up?" Sam smirked.

"I said I know I have a chance but I don't want to hear you talk," Dean groaned.

"What was the line again?" Sam asked.

"I know I don't have a chance, but I just wanted to hear you talk," Dean said.

"Dean, you hear me talk all the time," Castiel blinked.

"When did you get here?" Dean demanded.

"Sam said-" Castiel said, looking ready to explain all he had heard.

"Don't answer that!" both Winchesters protested.

* * *

><p>"God damn-" Dean shouted.<p>

"What'd you mess up this time?" Sam asked.

"I asked if she was lost because hell's a long way from here," Dean threw himself onto his bed.

"And the pickup line is…?"

"Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here," Dean grumbled.

"Dean, I know how to get to Heaven, no matter where I am," Castiel said.

"How do you keep doing that?" Dean demanded.

"Doing what?" Castiel tilted his head.

"What was the line this time?" Sam asked as Dean came through the door in a huff.

"Oh, no! I'm not falling for that again," Dean said.

"Falling for what?" Sam asked.

"Every time I manage to fix a pickup line, Cas pops out out of nowhere and it seems like I'm trying to pick him up!" Dean said frustrated.

"You think that maybe you don't want to pick up girls?" Sam asked.

"What?" Dean demanded.

"Hey, don't freak out on me, I know you've experimented with guys," Sam said. "Is it so crazy that you'd want Cas? The guy pulled you out of Hell, Dean-"

"Hey, I do not want Cas," Dean interrupted.

"Then why do you only get the pickup line right when he's here?" Sam asked.

"Hell if I know!" Dean snapped. "I'm telling you, it's supernatural!"

"Why don't we just call and see if Cas answers? If he doesn't, you can say your pickup line," Sam said.

"What if he does show up?" Castiel asked.

"When has Castiel ever showed up when we asked? All of what, maybe, three, four times?" Sam asked. Not that they were ungrateful or anything.

"Cas, can you get down here?" Dean asked. They waited for several minutes and there was no telltale sign of Castiel.

"So…?" Sam asked.

"Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day,"

"Dean, I flew," Castiel said.

"You- I- we-!" Dean groaned. "Damn it, Cas!"

"Is something wrong?" Castiel asked, watching Dean storm out of the motel room.

"No," Sam said as Dean stormed back in to get his jacket and then almost slammed the door behind him again but he turned around and invaded Castiel's personal space.

"You'd better have a license because you're driving me crazy!" Dean said. Sam's jaw dropped.

"I do not have a license but why do I need one to drive you crazy?" Castiel asked. "I'm driving you crazy?

"You can't work with him!" Dean said, throwing his arms up in the air and walking out for real this time.

And that, Sam guessed, was when Dean accepted his feelings for Castiel.

* * *

><p>And so Dean tried to get Castiel the only way he knew how…<p>

"Cas, I gotta be a fallen angel because I've fallen for you,"

And Castiel responded the only way he knew how…

"Dean, you're not an angel and you didn't fall; you tripped,"

"Cas, can you empty your pockets? You've stolen my heart," Dean said. Castiel looked in his trench coat pockets and frowned at Dean, looking at the area where his heart was.

"Your heart is still where it should be," Castiel said.

"Can I have directions?" Dean asked.

"I thought you knew where we were going," Castiel frowned.

"Just say to where, Cas," Sam rolled his eyes.

"To where, Cas?" Castiel said obediently.

"Uh, your heart," Dean said.

"If you start from the posterior-"

"Never mind, Cas!"

* * *

><p>"Dean?" Castiel appeared in the room. "You called?"<p>

"Yeah, I called," Dean said.

"Is something the matter?" Castiel asked.

"No, yes. You know what. Sit down," Dean said, steering Castiel to the bed. "Do you get what I've been trying to do?"

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked.

"The pickup lines?" Dean elaborated.

"What _are_ pickup lines?" Castiel asked and Dean resisted the urge to hit his forehead.

"They're- they're way of saying… you know what, I'll just give you an example," Dean said. Castiel stared at him and Dean swallowed, unable to make his lips form words.

"Dean?" Castiel tilted his head.

"I bet you twenty dollars I can kiss you without using my lips," Dean whispered.

"Dean, that is-" Castiel was silenced when Dean's lips pressed against his gently.

"I lost," Dean said.

"I have no use for money," Castiel said. "So would you consider changing money to… more pickup lines?"

"Uh, sure, Cas," Dean said. "I know it's not Christmas but Santa's lap-"

"That is not what I meant," Castiel said, gripping the back of Dean's neck and pulling him into another kiss.

"Oh. You can have as many of those as you want," Dean said, kissing Castiel again.

* * *

><p>Gag reel<p>

"What the hell is a zinger?" Dean asked.

"It's like a cake,"

"How is it any different from a Twinkie?"

"The difference between a Twinkie and a zinger is that a Twinkie has filling on the inside and a zinger has frosting on top," Sam explained patiently.

"That's what she said," Dean smirked.

"Who?" Castiel blinked, appearing next to Dean.


End file.
